"Seize the day". Or at least so I understand from the film "Dead Poets' Society" as despite a classical education I don't speak Latin.
It doesn't matter though, it's the sentiment that's important. And it's what's coming through from my experiences in the last week. There are going to be good days and bad days and I have to learn to accept the bad days; then, when I have good days, to get on with stuff. This is not in line with my usual style of operation which involves planning things to the nth degree just in order to get things done (believe me, a full time job and two children equals no other pattern of behaviour). A strong tendency to control freakery doesn't help either. So this will be good for me, learning to just go with the flow.
Perhaps the hardest part of that will be believing that there will be up days. Last week I got stuck in a horrible cycle of believing that this was it, this was the next six months and nothing would ever get better and that all the side effects were permanent. I'm not sure how I go about making that happen, but at least I can look back on this post as a reminder.
Hang in there. My partner just started his chemo, and I guess before starting you think you won't get any of the side effects, but they are happening one after the other. Thanks to your posts, I took the gloves etc for the first appointment and they made a difference.
ReplyDeleteBeing a control freak myself, learning to go with the flow is one of the hardest things!