This isn't at the right place in the narrative, but it's hot off the press and sometimes telling no-one, an anonymous audience, is better than telling the people around you. Everyone is trying so hard to be strong about it all that I feel I have to be strong too and I'm not, I am scared.
This morning I'd happily fixed up the next appointment to see the consultant. He'd been confident the histology results wouldn't be back for weeks, so I made an appointment for next week and his secretary promised to phone me if that changed and we needed to put it back.
She just phoned and brought it forward to tomorrow because the results are back. My mind's in overdrive analysing what this might mean. Have the results come back more quickly because they've already found enough? Surely giving the all clear would take longer because they're checking much more? I got a decent night's sleep last night. Don't think this one will be so good...
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