Wednesday, 26 September 2012

The Waiting Game

Now I've caught up with myself, really. "Out of Sequence" and "One Step at a Time" take us to where I am now. There has been an awful lot of sitting around, sometimes accompanied by tea drinking and sometimes not, sometimes accompanied by cake and sometimes not. More people have been told. The house is full of the most beautiful flowers, from my closest friends, my oldest friends, family and my work. DH's work phone him often, and send a gift basket containing, amongst other things, emergency chocolate. Lots of people come to see me: one brother travels hundreds of miles to be with us for four hours, a glorious four hours where my parents, both brothers, my husband and my children are all together in our garden, racing around playing football and on the trampoline. And as the days go on, I'm less tired and able to do more. By the end of week two at home, I can do the school run, much to DD's delight. My in-laws leave after the end of week one, to be replaced by my parents, then in week three DH goes back to work, TN is back and parental support is down to visits to help with bath time and meals on wheels.

Everyone is waiting, waiting for the oncologist appointment which is this Thursday (27 September). When I spoke to her (very efficient, slightly scary) secretary, there was nothing earlier. And until then I can do nothing but sit and wait. There is nothing to tell anyone, no action to take, no steps forward.

Thankfully parental support also includes the increasingly vital exercise of Getting Me Out of the House. I am getting more and more narky at my invalid state, mostly because I have nothing to do but wait. Given my life usually moves at 100 mph and I would usually give my eye teeth for a sit down, with a cup of tea and a good book, you'd think I would be enjoying the time off but no, there's no pleasing me. The day I realise how serious this is is the day I'm pottering about being annoyed that I can't go to the wool shop for wool for my next project (I've taken up knitting to keep me occupied). I have officially gotten old and need to get out.

Mum offers me a day out. It is to the Early Early Christmas Fair at Tidworth House, in aid of ABF - the Soldiers' Charity. I'm not sure this is an improvement in my aged state, but I've jumped at the chance!

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