Wednesday 17 October 2012

E...n....e...r...g...y....

None whatsoever. Zip. Nil. Niet. Zero.

After ten days of my saintly in-laws being here and generally shaming me with their ability to do more in a day than I usually manage in a week, DH and I were really looking forward to having the house back. Much as we love having people around, it's nice to have our space back too.

But the smallest of tasks renders me drained. A walk to the supermarket and some light shopping = 30 minutes' sit down and complete inability to concentrate or process information. DD and I had a major falling out last night because she wasn't doing as I asked and I didn't have the wit to think of a less confrontational way to sort it out. And I can't even begin to describe the lethargy that comes over me when I contemplate the mound of emails I have to write. All of which I know sounds incredibly ungrateful and brattish and believe me I don't mean to - the number of people who pop up and check on me is humbling and marvellous - but I feel utterly wrung out. The decision to take a four month sign off from the doctor is looking like a good one. Now I have to reconcile that decision with my usual need to live life at the speed limit plus ten per cent. Slowing down is hard to do.

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